we're chasing vodka with high fives
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
