I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Success! We fucked roommates!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
