so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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