We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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