And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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