Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
