This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
