HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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