I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
