If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
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