Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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