it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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