that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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