i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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