"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Non-Jews are for practice
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I party with great urgency now.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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