ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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