my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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