There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
