naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
