Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
