I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
