Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You can't just leave with hair like that
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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