I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
