normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
