Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
