There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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