question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
