I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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