who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
