I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
