You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
50% drunk capacity currently
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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