k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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