just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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