Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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