Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
