her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is wine microwaveable?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
