they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
