Apparently you make a good broom.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
