i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize