Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
