the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
