Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
