i will never coherently bang her
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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