singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
