I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
