and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
