doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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