talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
