Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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