Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
