In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
dude. I can hear the air.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
