hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
