matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
