Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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