no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize