if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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