she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
