Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
