My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
