so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
