is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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