Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
